It's All About Pop-U-Lar

It's interesting. My whole life I've been sort of an outcast. Kind've the lone wolf, with me being my own friend and company. That's not me trying to make you feel guilty with my sob story. That's just the way it was. But that's been slowly changing lately. Like with this summer. This summer was the first time I truely felt accepted. Not when I was at camp, funny enough, but when I was at that week long art course in Red Deer. And then I came home, and school started, and I thought things would be back to the way they've always been. With me being just me, with no one else. But then the new students came to town. Kelti, Naomi, Jenny, Tara, Alysa, Erin, Aaron... And then all of a sudden I think I know what it feels like to have friends. Now, we're not super close (yet), but some are closer than others. But that's not really the point. I'm okay if I don't have a bunch of friends that I can tell all my secrets to or whatever. But the point is that I have more than one friend who actually like me, and like to hang out with me. They tend to travel in packs, I've noticed, but when one of them sees me, all of a sudden I'm flocked. With these girls who like to talk to me, and I like to talk to them. It's really an odd feeling, but I really like it. I think it's all about me growing up. I'm still awkward, both socially and.. well, socially. Sometimes I don't say the right thing, or I don't say anything at all when I should. But just sometimes. I've noticed more and more that I know what to say and when to say it, that makes the conversation more.. fluid. And I think it's because I'm growing up. And it's just an interesting realization. That all my life I felt left out, and I still do a lot of the time now. But I think the difference is just the fact that I'm grown up. People don't like to have long conversations with a 10-year-old. Even though I was a great conversation partner. But they do like to talk to a girl who's 'all grown up' and knows what the heck she's talking about. So I think in some ways, this growing up thing isn't so terrible.

And the inspiration for my title of this blog post is from the broadway musical Wicked. The song Popular. One of my favourites from that show.