It's the Little Things

If there is one thing I have learned over the past six months since attending Red Deer College, it's the lesson of forgiveness. With everything that has happened to me, by alleged friends and trusted ones, I have learned that forgiveness, though not easy, is truly necessary for any relationship. People are flawed. That's just the way it is. Cats have tails, trees have roots, and people have flaws. You can't change that. No matter how much you wish you could, you can't. You can't change a person, you can't change things about that person. The only thing that is ever in your power is to accept that person for who they are. For everything they are. You may not like everything about a person (if you do, you're probably a mom), but in order for any successful relationship to work, you need to be able to accept those flaws.

Forgiveness is a big step in the action of accepting flaws. When a person screws up, it's not up to you to judge them or condemn them, or give them an ultimatum: change who they are or you'll stop talking to them. No, when a person screws up, it's up to you to be open to grace and forgiveness.

The difference between grace and mercy: Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don't deserve. If a friend of mine gets super drunk, starts acts like an insane idiot, breaks all my stuff, and clearly isn't concerned for my wealthfare, do I judge her entire person based on that single incident, or on who I know she is, as a person, every other day of her life?

For some unknown reason there are people out there who cannot grasp this concept. That a person makes mistakes, but they aren't defined by those mistakes. I am not my mistakes. I have lied, cheated, and stolen, but that does not make me a liar, cheater, or thief. It makes me Grace who made a few poor decisions in her life. Name me one person who has not made poor decisions. The point is that we all are stupid every once in a while. The trick is to realize that when it's our turn to be forgiven, or to do the forgiving, look at who you know the person is, not at what that person has done. I may not believe in Karma religiously (as in I am neither Buddhist or Hindu), but I do believe in the idea spiritually. What goes around comes around. Whatever you put out in the universe, it will come back to you. That's just human nature. That's what we have to keep in mind.

Matthew 7: 1-5
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your  brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then  you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."