This is what happens when you leave me alone with my thoughts

I haven't posted in a while. That's mostly because my camera is a little bit broken. It still works fine, but the connector which plugs it into my computer is broken. Which means I can't transfer pictures from my camera to my computer. And I figured that since I can't make my blog interesting with pictures anymore, then there's no point in writing. But I just had a thought earlier. I kept a blog for a couple years that didn't have anything other than my writings. I wanted to do the whole picture thing because my sister does it. She posts a lot and has all these great things going on in her life that she can take pictures of and share with us. But then.. Pictures is kinda her thing. I don't have as many crazy random awesome things going on in my life like she does. I don't need to show you all these cool projects I'm working on. Because I'm not working on anyway. What I can do is share my thoughts. Because I think. A lot. And you can't really take pictures of thoughts. So maybe I'll just have to suck up the fact that my $400 camera is now rendered useless, and try to find my own way of keeping you interested in what I have to say.
One thing I struggle with on here is I don't think I have a fan base. That is, I'm not super interesting, and I don't have a particular theme with my blog. It's mostly just my thoughts, which definitely don't have a theme, and I think are more important to me than they would be to anyone else. That's kinds a reason why I like keeping a journal. Because I can rant and complain and whine and no one will judge me or think I'm just annoying. On the other hand, I like the idea of having a blog. And have some random person (maybe someone i know, but they dont know me so well) read what I have to say and appreciate it and maybe learn a thing or two. And I appreciate annominity. If that's the word I'm thinking of.. I appreciate people who wish to remain anonymous. People who want someone to know something, but don't want them to know who said it. If that makes any sense.. I'm not really sure where this is leading, but I might as well keep going until I find the end.
You know how they say that the truly genius people are the crazies who talk to themselves all the time because they can't find anyone else smart enough to understand them? Sometimes I feel like I'm one of those geniuses. Except the difference, other than the fact that I'm obviously not a genius, is that I don't try to communicate myself to people, and try to get them to understand. Once in a while, sure, I'll tell them something about me, or why I think a certain thing. But I don't think even I could try to explain what my deal is. I'm a loner, yet I love people and I think I'm starting to have friends. I'm like.. An outcast, yet I can fit in to the social norm. If I was really self-masochistic enough to do that. Honestly, I think that if I were to be 'cool', and therefore maybe have a social life and know what it's like to hang out with your friends all the time, I would have to change everything about me. To fit in to society, I would have to be the anti-Grace. And it's sad to think that so many teenagers out there are like that- anti-themselves, just so they can be liked and have a lot of fake friends. Why would someone want that kind of life? Do they really hate themselves that much that they're willing to give up everything they are and everything they believe in just so they don't feel alone? That's really sad. It really is. And I know or know of so many adults who actually support that. They support changing who you are to be accepted. And it's terrible that there aren't enough people, counsellors and the like, who can talk to every single person and tell them they're wonderful, just the way they are, and it they have to change to be liked, then the people they're trying to impress aren't worth it. And its funny- if everyone realized this, no one would have to be who they're not, cuz no one would be afraid to be themselves. And that's why there's bullies and queen bees and all that. Cus they're all just.. Afraid.
And this is why I have a blog. This would just be way too long for a Facebook status :P