Hello kiddies! Long time no hear! I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. Although it does kind've make sense. When I got back from New York I wanted absolutely nothing to do with anything or anyone. It was really weird. I'm not sure if it was so much me being really tired, or me coming back from the biggest city I've ever been in, now having to live in...well... the opposite. At any rate, I'm over it. All better now. I'm still in New York withdrawal, but I think I'll be like that until, if ever, I go back. Which I hope I will. Some day.
So lets see. What is new in the life of a homeschooled teenager. I'm in the middle of applying for post-secondary! It doesn't really feel like it, since the school I'm going to is the theatre school based in the town that I kinda live in. So it's not much of a change for me. I'm not moving that far away, and I'm not making relationships with people I've never met before. With the exception of the peeps that're gonna be in my first year. I haven't met most of them yet. I have met a couple people who might be coming. They came to the school for a week, a week or a bit ago, for a 'scout week'. Which is exactly what it sounds like. People come for a week, check the school out, meet the people, meet the faculty, take in a dinner and a show, and stay in res. So I have met five or six scouts so far, but I've only really talked to two. Both of which I'm really hoping they don't come back. Because they're the kind of people that I don't really get alone with. You know... teenagers. For once in my life, I am older than potential students. It's so weird! Each year, they stay the same age and I keep getting older! Until now, it was bound to happen: I'm older than them. More grown up in many ways, it appeared. But at least I know that if they do end up coming in the fall with me, it's an opportunity for me to grow. For me to be around those kinds of people and know how to get along with them. How to look beyond their faults and find myself on equal ground. Or so I hope.
However, before any of that happens, I have to graduate highschool. I'm super behind in my social right now, which is very stressful. I wasn't behind a couple weeks ago, but then I've realized that all my teachers are on their Spring Break on the same week, and the day they get back, I leave for my scout week. So basically I have all of May to do two units of Social, which should be done over the course of at least two more months. It doesn't help that my social teacher isn't fully competent to be in charge of all the highschool social. It's challenging. I'm just so excited to finally be done it all. Eventually. After lots of hard work, and thousands of pages of social to read and, ha!, memorize. God help me!
Ryan, my bf, came over for Easter Weekend! I haven't seen him in what feels like forever. I kind've do this thing where in order for me to be able to live my life each day without pining over him, or missing him, I kinda shut that part of my brain off. I can actually choose not to think about something, and it works. So most of the time I just choose not to think about the fact that Ryan's at university in a city three hours away from me, where his closest friend there is a woman who I find as logical competition. Of whom he's moving in with at the end of the semester, with two other girls. And his car doesn't work so he can't ever come to see me. Andd well there're very good reasons why I choose not to think about that part of my life. Anyway, back on track, the reason I mention this is because, sure that may be a gift- being able to choose not to think about something, but then after a while it becomes difficult to turn that part of me back on. So when I do see Ryan, it takes a while for me to allow that part of my life back in. It's difficult, and I don't think I deal with it very well. Or something, because he always seems so sad whenever he's around. I don't know if that's because I'm difficult, or because of life, buuut at least if everything was easy, there'd be nothing to learn from.
One new thing that just happened that I'm very excited about, is I'm colouring my hair! Colour from a box, I'm excited to see how it turns out. It's kind've a really dark purple. On the box it looks almost black, but with a purple undertone. I'm super excited. I'm gonna be cutting and colouring my hair professionally in about a month, month and a half, but for the time being I spent $14 for a temporary change. Let's hope it's super awesome!
I'm gonna try very hard to be a better blogger in the upcoming months. I think my primary goal/focus will be homeschooled teenager-going-college student. And the difficulties that lie ahead, and the fun stuff that comes out of it, and the lessons learned and shared throughout it all. Stay tuned!
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